We have a mission here.

Workbook lesson 139 of A Course in Miracles explicitly states that you and I and all of us “have a mission here” (W-pI.139.9:1), even though the Course explicitly states that this world, the universe, time and space in reality do not exist and that we are — right now — already safe at Home in the Heart of God. We are only dreaming of exile from nonduality. So what, then, is our mission here about? As chapter 21 of the text emphasizes, “this is a course in cause and not effect.” (T-21.VII.7:8). Therefore, our mission here is not to make a ‘better’ dream world, as many spiritual aspirants unfortunately tend to try. So what is our mission here about? What’s the meaning of life here?

Jesus’ answer to this question in workbook 139, once read carefully, can be seen as a summary of the entire Course: “We did not come to reinforce the madness that we once believed in.” (W-pI.139.9:2). The “madness“, of course, is the impossible belief of the Son of God (Christ) in the tiny, mad idea (T-27.VIII.6:2) that He is better off without God; that He could be self-created and experience a happiness that’s much better than the oneness Love of God. Since, according to the Course, this oneness Love is the only reality, which by definition cannot have any opposites, this separation from God in reality never happened.

However, the seemingly sleeping Son of God is free to hallucinate that it did, and  experience the consequences of this belief in a made-up universe of time and space. And this is what all seemingly fragmented parts of the seemingly sleeping Son of God (that is, all of us) still believe who “count the hours still, and rise and work and go to sleep by them.” (W-pI.169.10:1,4). Most of us don’t even ask ourselves what our mission here might be; we just go on living our daily lives on auto-pilot, and die without a single clue as to why we exist. Well, at least we existed apart from God.

This is the “madness that we once believed in”. The sentence is stated in the past tense for two reasons: (1) “once” refers to the ontological moment just before the Big Bang that the Son of God chose to believe in the plausibility of the separation, a moment that we still relive “each day, and every minute in each day, and every instant that each minute holds” as long as we choose to hold on to judgmental thoughts; (2) Having chosen a path as a “happy learner” of Jesus’ curriculum and having reached lesson 139, he reminds us that we are no longer wholly insane: at least in part we have come to see the silliness of the tiny, mad idea; we acknowledge the desirability of the “other way” to live in this world, namely, as a happy learner guided by the Holy Spirit.

Our mission here, then, is to accept — and live! — the only correct answer to the universal question “What am I?”. The answer, as all good Course students know, is that I am pure spirit, at one with my Creator, as lessons 201-220 affirm: “I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.” (W-pI.201-220). The difficult part is when we realize that this must include everyone. As Jesus says about our true mission here: “It is more than just our [own] happiness alone we came to gain.” (W-pI.139.9:4). As Ken Wapnick often emphasized, if I am to be truly happy, it is everyone’s happiness I must desire, without exception. This must be true if  everyone I see out there is nothing but a projection of the thoughts in my own mind that I find too objectionable to come into awareness.

That’s why Jesus continues his plea in lesson 139 as follows: “Fail not your brothers, or you fail yourself. Look lovingly on them, that they may know that they are part of you, and you of them.” (W-pI.139.9:6-7). This sounds lovely enough, until people cross our mind that we really don’t like. Should I also apply this to that nasty neighbor; to this incredibly stupid Head of State; to that recently convicted criminal? I can perhaps intellectually accept the notion that everyone outside of me is a projection of an ‘unacceptable’ thought in my own mind, but once I turn on the news that’s rather hard to keep up.

Our mission here, then, can be concisely restated as “Be kind.” Not because we feel that’s a social obligation, but because we have honestly acknowledged that we are indeed all the same pure spirit, including that neighbor, the president, and that convicted criminal. I certainly do not have to condone silly behavior; but I can realize that beneath all perceptual behavior lies the same sadness, loneliness and fear all living creatures share. We all have that same frightened little child in us that yearns to rediscover the certainty of everlasting love as an exile in a strange land. As long as I choose to condemn others for their ‘unacceptable’ behavior, I am really stating that I do not want the oneness Love of God. That’s why choosing to react judgmentally always hurts myself. Always.

To accept our mission here as to be kind is to “proclaim that we accept as what we are everyone must be, along with us.” (W-pI.139.5-7). In that acceptance, condemnation becomes meaningless. I certainly do not have to act as the proverbial doormat; I can certainly say “no” to a particular situation if the Holy Spirit tells me that’s the most loving thing to do for all parties involved. But once I have accepted my mission here as a happy learner and teacher of true forgiveness, I experience the meaning of life in this illusory dream world. My mind remains at peace, no matter what my ego perceives. As Jesus concludes: “Today accept Atonement, not to change reality, but merely to accept the truth about yourself, and go your way rejoicing in the endless Love of God. It is but this that we are asked to do.” (W-pI.139.10:2-3). Happy practicing!


See also my “Miracles or Murder: a guide to concepts of A Course in Miracles“. This guidebook, endorsed by Gary and Cindy Renard, was published in March 2016 by Outskirts Press and is available at Amazon.com:

buy-now-amazon-button

See my Feb. 2020 Course workshop on YouTube called “A kingdom to rule” (English captions/subtitles available).

Dutch visitors may also be interested in this Dutch page: ikzoekvrede.nl.

If looks could kill…

When moving about in the public space, have you ever noticed how quickly you disapprove of something or someone? Trafic that doesn’t behave the way you would like it to; people who seem to act selfishly without paying any attention to their surroundings; or people whose appearance you simply don’t like. For myself, I try to make it a habit of watching my own judgments of people and situations at hand. To my dismay I find, if I am truly honest with myself, that I condemn virtually everyone and everything outside of me. It may be as slight as a seemingly insignificant twinge of disapproval that quickly vanishes, but I nevertheless almost always find something to reject in what I see.

In A Course in Miracles, we are told that any single rejection (condemnation, really), however small it may seem, reflects the ontological rejection (condemnation) of God by the seemingly sleeping Son of God, which set in motion the separated dream world of time and space. Lesson 21 teaches us: “The degree of the emotion you experience does not matter. You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury.” (WpI.21.2:4-5). Moreover, the Course expands the notion of murder from physical murder to include psychological murder as well. This means that every time I choose to disapprove of someone, I am actually choosing murder.

Whether I choose a slight twinge of annoyance or a physical attack does not matter, at least in terms of content: in either case, I choose to be a murderer. Therefore, as far as the Course is concerned, the saying “If looks could kill…” might just as well be restated as “Unkind thoughts do kill.” After all, a dirty look is merely the effect of a condemning thought we first chose to believe in the mind. Similarly, physical murder is the effect of a condemning thought that was actively chosen in the mind. Again, whenever the Course mentions the word murder, this refers first and foremost to psychological murder, or condemnation in the mind. The effects in terms of what our senses see merely follow.

Course scholar Kenneth Wapnick often pointed out that we should not be dismayed at all by this realization that we constantly choose murder instead of miracles throughout our days. On the contrary, in one sense we should leap up with joy, for at least now we realize what it is we could choose to undo. Jesus cannot ask us to “choose to change our mind about the world” (T-21.in.1:7) as long as we do not fully realize what it is we are choosing to undo. If I spend my days telling myself I am a peaceful soul, that all people are wonderful, and that in fact everything in the world is beautiful, I am merely choosing a very shallow layer of peace that inevitably gets torn apart by the hate and attack that do govern all things in time and space, as long as we still crave to be separated individuals.

A fruitful Course practice, then, comes to down to vigilantly watching my own thought stream for any unkind thought to surface. And then merely watch it. I can train myself to watch my own negativity from ‘above the battleground’ (T-23.IV). As an observer. I can realize I am not my unkind thoughts – I am the decision maker that apparently made a mistake by having chosen for the ego fuel (i.e., condemnation) with the sole purpose of keeping myself distinctly separated from everyone else, to ‘prove’ that I exist as a unique individual. Now at least I’m being honest. This honesty is crucial for being able to take the next step.

This next step boils down to shifting awareness from seeing differences all around me (in worthiness) to seeing sameness all around me (“we are all equally worthy”). Jesus would rephrase this inner shift as a choice to see miracles instead of murder; to see content instead of form. To be sure, the perception of differences remains, but that’s form. Seen from the perspective of content, I share the same holographic aspects of the Son of God with all living things around me. The Light of Love is the same in each and everyone. God (i.e., Love) does not play favorites: everyone is equally worthy. Since perception follows projection, each life form I perceive outside of me merely mirrors my own unconscious state of mind. “Nothing so blinding as perception of form”, we read in (T-22.III.6:7). Therefore, if I want inner peace, I should offer it to everyone and everything, regardless of the form my sensory organs seem to perceive and interpret.

At this point, it is important to note that you and I should not in the least feel guilty about still having negative thoughts. “It would indeed be strange if you were asked to go beyond all symbols of the world, forgetting them forever; yet were asked to take a teaching function. You have need to use the symbols of the world a while. But be you not deceived by them as well.” (WpI.184.9:1-2; my italics). If I had truly abandoned all negativity in my mind and had reached the top of the ladder of the acceptance of the Atonement, I wouldn’t be here any longer in time and space. My awareness of my unkind thoughts merely shows me that I still have forgiveness lessons to learn in this classroom I call my physical life. One of the most uplifting aspects of A Course in Miracles is that we are all guaranteed to learn these “lessons of love”. Everyone will eventually graduate and return to Oneness; if not yet in this life, then most certainly in a next life.

Our sole remaining freedom here is to choose how long we will take to finally make this happy shift from murder to miracles. We all still tenaciously hold on to our deeply cherished individual judgmental existence because we are afraid of what would become of us if we would really let that go. So once again, as this reassurance of Jesus cannot be repeated too often: “You believe that without the ego, all would be chaos. Yet I assure you that without the ego, all would be love.” (T-15.V.1:7). In other words, “Why wait for Heaven?” (W-pI.131.6:1; W-pI.188.1:1). You and I could make this choice right now. The inner peace that inevitably follows from making this choice shows us we are well on our way back Home to the Heart of God which we never left. Looks can kill, but looks can also bless. The choice is up to us.


See also my “Miracles or Murder: a guide to concepts of A Course in Miracles“. This guidebook, endorsed by Gary and Cindy Renard, was published in March 2016 by Outskirts Press and is available at Amazon.com:

buy-now-amazon-button

See my Feb. 2020 Course workshop on YouTube called “A kingdom to rule” (English captions/subtitles available).

Dutch visitors may also be interested in this Dutch page: ikzoekvrede.nl.

Sabotaging perfection

No matter how cleverly we plan, no matter how carefully we prepare, no matter how hard we try, our plans never work out perfectly. There’s always something unexpected that we either hadn’t noticed or could not have anticipated. As computer programmers say: “There’s always another bug.” Still, we stubbornly keep trying, hoping that “this time we’ll get it right.” In retrospect, though, we usually conclude that things turned out differently anyway. And so we plod along, hoping against hope that someday we’ll succeed; someday it’ll be perfect.

Studying A Course in Miracles, we eventually become aware of the silliness of our efforts to achieve perfection. Briefly summarized: in the ontological moment of separation from oneness, which set in motion the Big bang and the beginning of time, the seemingly sleeping Son of God rejected the perfection of God’s Oneness Love, thinking that He could do one better and be perfect on His own, without God. The gargantuan guilt that came with the realization that perfection wasn’t attained but destroyed, ensured that the seemingly sleeping Son of God became deathly afraid of the perfection of God. And so He felt the urge to hide from God in an illusory world that is all but perfect.

So there we have it: we want to be perfect on our own, apart from God, but somewhere deep inside we realize that perfection is of God and only of God. Since we believe we attacked that perfection, and are terrified of God’s imagined retaliative wrath, we’ve become deathly afraid of perfection, and we believe in our gut we’ll never have it. And as the Course teaches us that our fear of God’s anger is only a defense against our fear of God’s Love for us (T-19.IV.D), it gets worse: the more I seem to achieve perfection, the closer I seem to get back to God’s perfect Love, which means my would lose my unique individual self. As I still very much like to be my little self, I inevitably self-sabotage all my attempts at perfection. Yes, I want perfection, but I also still want to be me!

That’s the insanity, or silliness rather, of life in time and space and in a seemingly separated body. Lifetime after lifetime we try to achieve the combination of perfection and individual existence, which is verily an impossible combination. We “hang on in quiet desperation”, as Pink Floyd put it in the seventies, tired, weary and worn, uncertain, lonely, and in constant fear (T-31.VIII.7:1), until we reach a turning point where we throw up our hands and exclaim that “there must be better way” (T-2.III.3:5-6). That’s the moment when we first realize that we should “resign as our own teacher” (T-12.V.8:3), since “we were badly taught” (T-28.I.7:1), namely, by our own wish for separation from perfect oneness.

Everyone eventually reaches a point wherein it becomes clear that thinking and acting from intuition gives much more satisfying results than thinking and acting based on our rationalized planning. We slowly become aware that we have an “Inner Teacher” Who is not located in the brain, where we usually believe our own rational thoughts to be. In A Course in Miracles, this Inner Teacher is called the Holy Spirit, the Voice for Love. The Holy Spirit is not some external entity that we can call upon. The Holy Spirit is the memory of our true Home which we believe we have exiled ourselves from. It truly is the Voice for Love and therefore the voice for perfection. And this Voice is within each of us! Remember: “The Holy Spirit is in you in a very literal sense.” (T-5.II.3:7).

The good news of A Course in Miracles is that you and I have the freedom to choose to follow the advice of this Voice for Love at any time. Most of the time we do not choose to listen, as this Voice also seems to remind us of the perfection that we rejected and therefore do not deserve. The Course however teaches us to recognize that such self-sabotaging reasoning merely serves to keep the individuality of the ego intact, as we still believe we need this individuality to simply exist. However, since not only the ego is wholly illusory, but the entire universe of time, space and perception as well, giving up this individuality does not result in annihilation but in eternal peace: “You believe that without the ego, all would be chaos. Yet I assure you that without the ego, all would be love.” (T-15.V.1:7).

Should I then stop making plans altogether, as chapter 18 in the text (“I need do nothing”, T-18.VII) seems to suggest? Certainly not! That would be most impractical as long as we still firmly believe we are a body that needs to survive in an undependable, if not outright threatening world. The beauty of A Course in Miracles is that it meets us in the separated state we still believe we are in. We are taught that the question is not whether or not to make plans, but with whom we choose to make plans. Therefore, workbook lesson 135 states: “A healed mind does not plan. It carries out the plans that it receives through listening to wisdom that is not its own. It waits until it has been taught what should be done, and then proceeds to do it.” (W-pI.135.11:1-3).

This kind of planning-through-intuition is the invitation for the perfection of God’s Love to once again enter the mind. The result can only be perfection, that is, the reflection of the perfection of the God we thought we had rejected. As long as we can uphold our own “little willingness” (T-18.IV) to have faith that the Voice for Love is always right, while the rational ego voice is always wrong, and we are glad that this is so, we are well on our way back to our true Home. What keeps us from consistently following trough in this trust is our fear of losing our precious individuality in the perfect Love of God. It’s the constant evaluation, a thousand times a day, of choosing between the Voice for the Oneness of God’s Love (back to perfection) versus the ego-voice for separation (sabotaging perfection), that should be our mind compass throughout our days. Happy practicing!


See also my “Miracles or Murder: a guide to concepts of A Course in Miracles“. This guidebook, endorsed by Gary and Cindy Renard, was published in March 2016 by Outskirts Press and is available at Amazon.com:

buy-now-amazon-button

See my Feb. 2020 Course workshop on YouTube called “A kingdom to rule” (English captions/subtitles available).

Dutch visitors may also be interested in this Dutch page: ikzoekvrede.nl.

 

Enlightenment right now, please

The central theme in A Course in Miracles is to learn how to forgive all the remaining dark spots in our own mind. To this end, we should work on a daily basis with the special relationships that we have formed with people, with possessions, with events, you name it. Anyone and anything can be transformed from a lesson-in-separation to a lesson-in-oneness, by re-evaluating what the relationship is for. Where we used to think the special relationship would bring us happiness, the Course’s re-evaluation shows us that it brings us only pain, and invites us to choose a different teacher to interpret the particular relationship.

Once we experience the inner peace that results from that other choice, forgiveness becomes more desirable, and so we put its practice somewhat more on the foreground in the mind each day. What we oftentimes fail to recognize, though, is that this only means we are now ready for forgiveness. That’s not the same as having mastered forgiveness. As Jesus reminds us in the text: “Readiness is only the prerequisite for accomplishment. The two should not be confused. As soon as a state of readiness occurs, there is usually some degree of desire to accomplish, but it is by no means necessarily undivided. The state does not imply more than a potential for a change of mind. Confidence cannot develop fully until mastery has been accomplished” (T-2.VII.7:2-6).

Once we experience the inner peace we want so much, there’s a tendency to demand instant enlightenment, simply because we want to feel good all the time. However, Jesus’ marked tempo in the Course is molto adagio (“very slow”), and with good reason. For example, whenever I think I truly forgive someone, and yet after a while I still notice feelings of hurt, resentment, rejection, anger, bitterness, and so on, I can be sure I have not yet truly forgiven that person, or better, my chosen relationship to that person. For many Course students, that’s an all-too familiar experience. Unfortunately, what oftentimes happens is that instead of patiently trying again and yet again, we make ourselves feel guilty for being such an inadequate spiritual student. And with guilt firmly in place, the ego has the last laugh, for guilt means its continuance is ensured.

For many Course students, a major eye-opener is the realization that it is exactly the unconscious devotion to the ego’s special individuality that’s the greatest block to true forgiveness. After all, true forgiveness ‘requires’ of me to see no differences whatsoever anymore between myself and the person (or situation) I condemned. Forgiveness will never be total until I can honestly say and mean: “I would rather be at one with you in Heaven outside time and space, than perceive us as separate in this dream world.” Until then, forgiveness remains “[…] a scourge; a curse where it was meant to bless, a cruel mockery of grace, a parody upon the holy peace of God.” (S-2.I.1:2). This is because deep down, I still judge myself as ‘better’ than you. Sure, as I am so enlightened I will not consciously condemn you anymore, but I still think I’m a better Son of God than you are.

In the Song of Prayer pamphlet, Jesus cautions his students against such thinking, which truly is a major obstacle in the process of going from readiness to mastery: “There are the [forgiveness] forms in which a “better” person deigns to stoop to save a “baser” one from what he truly is. Forgiveness here rests on an attitude of gracious lordliness so far from love that arrogance could never be dislodged. Who can forgive and yet despise? And who can tell another he is steeped in sin, and yet perceive him as the Son of God? Who makes a slave to teach what freedom is? There is no union here, but only grief. This is not really mercy. This is death” (S-2.II.2).

We should never forget that although the Course’s principles are simple, going from readiness to mastery is far from easy. The reason is obvious: I want to be enlightened, but I want it on my conditions. I want to experience the Love of God, but I want to keep experiencing it as a special individual. That’s because somewhere deep down, I still believe that this unique autonomous personality is all I have and all I am. What would I be if I were to give that up? I really couldn’t tell. The ego tells me I would be obliterated into nothingness (as punishment by God), but in A Course in Miracles, Jesus assures me that the only thing that would be obliterated is the ego itself, after which only love remains: “[…] You believe that without the ego, all would be chaos. Yet I assure you that without the ego, all would be love.” (T-15.V.1:7).

“You have built your whole insane belief system [i.e., separation; a dream world; time; bodies; fear] because you think you would be helpless in God’s Presence, and you would save yourself from His Love because you think it would crush you into nothingness” (T-13.III.4). Enlightenment, then, comes down to the reversal of exactly that belief. And you and I can hardly expect that to be instantaneous; while you and I still firmly believe we are a body living in space and time (and that includes virtually all of us), it’s no use telling ourselves that time doesn’t exist. We need to patiently work in time with time, to ultimately learn we don’t need time. And no, suicide isn’t a shortcut in time; it’s merely a guarantee you will need still more time [i.e., lives] to ultimately learn Jesus’ curriculum of love.

It’s hardly weak to admit that you’re still afraid of the oneness Love of God. On the contrary; once you can acknowledge this, you’re being more honest to yourself than you’ve ever been before. But now at least you’ve obtained readiness to learn Jesus’ curriculum. It also means you acknowledge that you cannot go from readiness to mastery on ego-strength alone. Luckily, the decision maker in the mind is still free to choose one of two available guides: the ego (the choice for continuing separation), or the Holy Spirit, the choice for oneness. The practice of ‘making the better choice’ is a lifelong practice. That’s why in the workbook Jesus encourages his students to frequently ask ourselves: ““Who walks with me?” This question should be asked a thousand times a day, till certainty has ended doubting and established peace.” (W-pI.156.8:1-2). This may seem to take a long time, but as you nurture the skill of patience, time becomes irrelevant. As the Buddhist saying goes: “Immediate results require infinite patience”. Or, in the context of this blog: “Instant enlightenment requires infinite patience”. Happy practicing!


See also my “Miracles or Murder: a guide to concepts of A Course in Miracles“. This guidebook, endorsed by Gary and Cindy Renard, was published in March 2016 by Outskirts Press and is available at Amazon.com:

buy-now-amazon-button

See my Feb. 2020 Course workshop on YouTube called “A kingdom to rule” (English captions/subtitles available).

Dutch visitors may also be interested in this Dutch page: ikzoekvrede.nl.

Re-evaluating the world we see

The current covid-19 global fear wave goes to illustrate just how intimately we still identify ourselves with a body, and a weak one at that, even though the covid mortality rates are still comparable to the well-known influenza mortality rates, which few people still worry about anymore. In a sense, it also goes to show the inherent sameness in all the seemingly separated fragments of the Son of God: whether you live in America, Africa, Asia or Europe, we basically share the same fears and we share the same ideas about what will make us happy. And virtually everyone still shares the same firm belief that in spite of all the apparent fears, happiness can yet be found in something in the world in which we experience our lives in, even if only for a brief moment.

As with almost every page in A Course Miracles, its message is that this entire world and everything we seem to perceive in it is entirely hallucinatory, including time and space itself. This is in line with the staggering conclusion of quantum physicists that time and space are ultimately not real, and that the observer by definition influences everything that is observed. However, just as quantum physics is still widely ignored by the majority of scientists, the nondualistic message of A Course in Miracles isn’t exactly warmly embraced in spiritual circles either, let alone in society at large. This is because both deny our notion of where we believe we may still find happiness in this world. The alternative view, ‘a reality outside time and space’, is way too vague, abstract and frightening.

In A Course in Miracles, workbook lessons 128 to 130 form a triad on a re-evaluation of the world and the body we still so intimately identify with. Lesson 128 starts off with the seemingly rather depressive notion that “The world I see holds nothing that I want” (W-pI.128). Since everyone and everything sooner or later pass away, the Course concludes: “Nothing is here to cherish. Nothing here is worth one instant of delay and pain; one moment of uncertainty and doubt. The worthless offer nothing.” (W-pI.128.4:2-3). And yet, Jesus cannot leave it at that, for if that were the final conclusion, this Course would merely be depressive. Therefore, lesson 129 follows right after that: “Beyond this world is a world I want.” (W-pI.129). This, of course, is the world the mind perceives when all forms of condemnation have been laid by. This is when the purpose of the mind chooses to shift from sin-guilt-fear-thinking (thereby keeping the ego alive), to the experience of the oneness Love of God (restoring our awareness of our one collective Self in the mind).

In the final chapter of the text, Jesus summarizes this process from concluding that the world offers nothing of value to the awareness of the real world, a world freed of all condemnation: “All its [the world’s] roads but lead to disappointment, nothingness and death. […] Men have died on seeing this, because they saw no way except the pathways offered by the world. And learning they led nowhere, lost their hope. And yet this was the time they could have learned their greatest lesson. […] It is true indeed there is no choice at all within the world. But this is not the lesson in itself. The lesson has a purpose, and in this you come to understand what it is for. […] Learn now, without despair, there is no hope of answer in the world. […] No longer look for hope where there is none. Make fast your learning now, and understand you but waste time unless you go beyond what you have learned to what is yet to learn. For from this lowest point will learning lead to heights of happiness, in which you see the purpose of the lesson shining clear, and perfectly within your learning grasp.” (T-31.IV.2:3;3:3-10;4:2-3,6-8).

The lesson, briefly summarized, is that you and I are not the seemingly separated special body you and I think we are. You and I are pure spirit, still at Home in the Heart of God, outside time and space. You and I are merely dreaming an almost endless sequence of reincarnations in increasingly complex bodies, time and again attempting to be happy on our own apart from God. We keep this dream alive by finding things to fear, accuse and attack, just so we won’t have to face the deeply buried guilt we feel about initially having rejected the Love of our Creator. If you look at the course of history for the past few millennia, we’ve always found something fearful to distract the mind, preventing it from looking within: ‘natural’ catastrophes, civil wars, climate pollution… and now we have invented a global virus pandemic. And next year there’ll be yet another fearful something. Although the forms seem to differ greatly, the content remains the same: yet another reason to be very fearful, and above all not calmly, silently and honestly re-evaluate the truth of the world and the body we experience.

Recapturing lesson 129, Jesus pleads with us: “Is it a loss to find a world instead where losing is impossible; where love endures forever, hate cannot exist and vengeance has no meaning? Is it loss to find all things you really want, and know they have no ending and they will remain exactly as you want them throughout time?” (W-pI.129.3:1-2). Again, Jesus is referring to the real world, in which we still experience time, but which at the same time heralds the end of time and the disappearance of the universe, as we complete our lessons of total forgiveness (without exception!) and realize we are the sleeping Son of God, about to awaken to His true Home: the unchangeable Oneness Love of God outside time and space.

The trouble, of course, is that by far most of us are still too intimately identified with the body to say and really mean: “I don’t want to be an individual anymore. I want the peace of God as the one Son of God“. We may intellectually accept that this ephemeral world is not our true Home and that forgiveness makes us much happier than accusing, fearing and attacking… but we are not yet ready to turn that into our daily reality. Our faith and conviction will grow a little each time we succeed in truly forgiving a person or a situation, but we still need to be very, very patient with ourselves. Climbing the ‘spiritual ladder’ to the acceptance of the Atonement, we most certainly cannot skip rungs.

To help us reach the top a little quicker, Jesus offers us lesson 130: “It is impossible to see two worlds” (W-pI.130). So he explains: “Fear has made everything you think you see. All separation, all distinctions, and the multitude of differences you believe make up the world. They are not there. Love’s enemy has made them up. Yet love can have no enemy, and so they have no cause, no being and no consequence. They can be valued, but remain unreal.” (W-pI.130.4:1-8). So A Course in Miracles is essentially a mind-training program to condition the decision making mind to ask itself a thousand times a day: “Do I want to condemn or do I want to forgive?” “Do I want fear, or do I want love?” “Do I choose the weakness of fear, or the strength of love?” “Do I want to be right, or do I want to happy?” We cannot be both. It is impossible to see two worlds.

Our wrong-minded thoughts fear the covid virus because you and I still largely experience ourselves as a vulnerable body, rather than invulnerable spirit. We fear it much more than the well-known influenza viruses with comparable mortality rates because we constantly need to find something new to fear, just to keep up our faulty belief that we have indeed succeeded in separating from God as an autonomous individual being. Should I then deny the entire virus and ignore all the government policies that attempt to control it? Certainly not. As always, good Course students meet people where they are, and they act and behave as any normal ego would, and they abide by the law. They’re just not taken in by the dream anymore. Be a shining beacon of peace. The Holy Spirit will waste no time in extending this peace to the minds of those who still walk about in fear, including fear of this virus. Emanating peace is much more powerful than verbally trying to convince others of their faulty thinking. You might strengthen the immune system of thousands of people you don’t even know, just by emanating peace. Leave this to the Holy Spirit; that is His function.

Let’s conclude by reminding ourselves of the the ever-practical advice Jesus gives us in lesson 184 on how to act in an effective way in this dream world: “It would indeed be strange if you were asked to go beyond all symbols of the world, forgetting them forever; yet were asked to take a teaching function. You have need to use the symbols of the world a while. But be you not deceived by them as well. They do not stand for anything at all, and in your practicing it is this thought that will release you from them. They become but means by which you can communicate in ways the world can understand, but which you recognize is not the unity where true communication can be found. Thus what you need are intervals each day in which the learning of the world becomes a transitory phase; a prison house from which you go into the sunlight and forget the darkness. Here you understand the Word, the Name which God has given you; the one Identity which all things share; the one acknowledgment of what is true. And then step back to darkness, not because you think it real, but only to proclaim its unreality in terms which still have meaning in the world that darkness rules.”  (W-pI.184.9:1-10:3). Again, you do this by being a beacon of peace. Happy practicing!


See also my “Miracles or Murder: a guide to concepts of A Course in Miracles“. This guidebook, endorsed by Gary and Cindy Renard, was published in March 2016 by Outskirts Press and is available at Amazon.com:

buy-now-amazon-button

See my Feb. 2020 Course workshop on YouTube called “A kingdom to rule” (English captions/subtitles available).

Dutch visitors may also be interested in this Dutch page: ikzoekvrede.nl.

From fear to reason

According to A Course in Miracles, the ego is the thought that I can find lasting happiness as a special individual, quite apart from the oneness Love (what we call God) which created me. The metaphysical foundation of the Course holds that in reality this is impossible, since ‘oneness’ means there is nothing else, but my mind has the freedom to imagine a dream of time and space in which I seem to experience this separated ego-state. This hallucinatory dream, however, can only be upheld by constantly proving that this is something different from the eternal love that we rejected; hence nothing lasts and nothing is ever perfect.

Moreover, the ego senses that the Son (i.e., all of us combined), who willingly chose to make up this dream world of an imperfect universe, could change His mind and choose oneness Love once more, which would end the entire dream of time and space. To prevent this from happening, the mind must constantly be fueled by fear of a made-up angry God, hellbent on punishing us for having rejected Him. As long as we have a list of things to fear, the mind will not take the opportunity to honestly look within and realize the illusory nature of the dream world of time and space. And so there always seems to be something to fear in this dream world. The forms are myriad: being manipulated by evil politicians; a natural catastrophe; a civil war; or a new malignant virus.

Regardless of the form of fear, the ego’s message is always the same: be afraid. Be very afraid, for your life can be snuffed out by anything at any time. And this all seemingly separated souls do believe, as we read in chapter 21 of the text: “The blind become accustomed to their world by their adjustments to it. They think they know their way about in it. They learned it, not through joyous lessons, but through the stern necessity of limits they believed they could not overcome. And still believing this, they hold those lessons dear, and cling to them because they cannot see. They do not understand the lessons keep them blind. This they do not believe. And so they keep the world they learned to “see” in their imagination, believing that their choice is that or nothing. They hate the world they learned through pain. And everything they think is in it serves to remind them that they are incomplete and bitterly deprived. Thus they define their life and where they live, adjusting to it as they think they must, afraid to lose the little that they have. And so it is with all who see the body as all they have and all their brothers have.” (T-21.I.4:1-5:2)

As long as I still believe I am a vulnerable body, no reasonable arguments will be able to lift the fear that my life may be ‘snuffed out at any time’. It doesn’t matter if the mortality rate of the new virus clearly approximates the mortality rate of similar well-known viruses we’re not worried about anymore. It doesn’t matter if economists say that the consequences of a society lock-down may turn out to be be far worse than just accepting the death percentage and keep on trading and living. It doesn’t matter if an integral health coach emphasizes the formidable learning capacity of our immune system. Fear keeps our sense of being a unique special separated individual body intact, and so the mind chooses to remain on the verge of panic: “See? There’s the proof. I can be attacked and killed by a virus; something I cannot even see. The separation from God has clearly been accomplished in reality!”

A Course in Miracles does not chide us for still being spiritual infants, and Jesus certainly nowhere mentions that we should stubbornly deny whatever our senses perceive. The body is not evil; it is neutral, and should be taken care of as such. As early as Chapter 2 of the text, Jesus explicitly mentions that using ‘magic’ (the course’s term for anything material, including medicine) to take care of the body is not sinful (T-2.IV.4:4-10). So should you have a headache, do take an aspirin! So in the face of a virus threat, it’s always a good idea to practice healthy lifestyle medicine: eat nutritious food; get enough exercise; sleep well; and reduce stress levels. And this final aspect, of course, is the key. I only experience stress because of certain beliefs about what might go wrong and how this could affect me; that is: affect my body. And there’s no doubt the body can be affected by a plethora of things that are seemingly out of my control.

Again, the only way out of this state of misery and fear is to change my mind about the world and about what I am. In the workbook we read: “The world was made as an attack on God. It symbolizes fear. And what is fear except love’s absence? Thus the world was meant to be a place where God could enter not, and where His Son could be apart from Him” (W-pII.3.2:1-4). Workbook lesson 97 affirms: “I am spirit”. Should the virus conquer my bodily existence because my fear level is still too high, I will inevitably reincarnate in a new body, as many times as I need to finally learn the lesson of Love (T-6) that God’s Son is one, and cannot turn a dreamed up universe of time and space into reality. Metaphysicists would moreover add that in reality, time is already over anyway. So, referring to workbook lesson 48: “There is nothing to fear”!

Fear is always a poor counselor. The solution to any threat that seems to come at us, be it a manipulative boss, a flooding, or a virus, is never to raise the level of fear, but always to lower the fear. A Course in Miracles helps me lower my fear level by pointing out the difference between truth and untruth. And as an effective Course student, I do not walk around accusing my friends, family and other relatives that they should stop believing they are a body and that they are in reality invulnerable. On the contrary: effective Course students meet people where they are. So they first turn inward and ask the Holy Spirit what would be the most loving thing to say and do. Very likely, something will come up that these folks can understand and appreciate, for example strengthening the immune system through good food, sufficient exercise and a regular sleep pattern. If you can succeed in remaining totally kind and loving, you can honestly claim the title “Teacher of God”. Happy practicing!


See also my “Miracles or Murder: a guide to concepts of A Course in Miracles“. This guidebook, endorsed by Gary and Cindy Renard, was published in March 2016 by Outskirts Press and is available at Amazon.com:

buy-now-amazon-button

See my Feb. 2020 Course workshop on YouTube called “A kingdom to rule” (English captions/subtitles available).

Dutch visitors may also be interested in this Dutch page: ikzoekvrede.nl.

The two advisers of the king

My annual “Miracles in contact” Course workshop, called “A kingdom to rule”, is now available online on YouTube, with English subtitles/captions:

The workshop’s theme is of course derived from workbook lesson 236: “I have a kingdom I must rule”. This kingdom is the mind. Ken Wapnick often referred to this king as the decision making part of the mind. Whenever Jesus invites us to ‘choose once again’, he adresses the part of the mind that chooses either the voice for separation (the ego) or the Voice for Love (the Holy Spirit). This is the only choice we need ever make in our lives; indeed, it is the only choice we can make.

A wise king always consults his advisers before deciding. And so it is with our mind. Each hour, each minute, yes even each instant we, as the decision maker, choose the adviser to which we listen, in the split second before we make the decision. Most people choose the ego about 99 percent of the time. A Course in Miracles has come to us to explain that we can indeed train the mind to learn to hear the other Adviser, Who is always within us, but Who we shout down through the constant rattle of the ego. In a sense, the essence of the Course is to train the mind to lift itself above the battleground (T-23.IV), learn to listen to both advisers, and then make a better choice.

In theory we could do this in an instant. At a first glance, the choice doesn’t seem difficult at all. After all, no-one wants to suffer and live a life of negativity, right? And yet 99% of the people still choose the voice for negativity 99% of the time. This means we still believe this adviser serves our best purpose. And what do we think is our best purpose? Keeping the illusion of our autonomous individuality alive and well; in other words: make sure our own little separated kingdom will continue. If a king consults an adviser Who tells him that the king would be far better off by giving up his little kingdom and fuse with the Kingdom of the Father, how likely is that advice to be followed up on? Not very likely. This is why we fear to hear the Voice for Love: we are afraid our precious individual existence will be erased, which would indeed be the case.

This is why the Course spends so many pages on having us reconsider who and what we really are. As long as we still believe the body is all we have and are,  the Voice for Love will rarely be heard. Only when we reach the point on the proverbial ladder where we can honestly say and mean: “I am still one Self [as pure spirit], united with my Creator. I am not a body. I am free. I am still as God created me [again, as pure spirit]”, will we have found the courage to hear the better Adviser and follow through on His advice. Only when you are slowly learning to trust the truth that you, as spirit, are safe, are guided, and will be welcomed back Home with great joy, will you not only hear the Voice of the Holy Spirit, but welcome it and follow through on His Advice, no matter how odd it may sound at times.

This is, very briefly, the gist of this workshop. Its purpose is to serve as a reminder that we are not by definition doomed by the ego’s capricious advice. We can learn to become aware of the power of the mind, learn to ‘switch on the Light’ and make a better choice a little sooner each day, each hour, each moment. This is undoubtedly the most important curriculum you’ll ever take in this lifetime in this dream world. And the Course guarantees everyone will pass the exam in due time. When is solely up to us. So why wait for Heaven?


See also my “Miracles or Murder: a guide to concepts of A Course in Miracles“. This guidebook, endorsed by Gary and Cindy Renard, was published in March 2016 by Outskirts Press and is available at Amazon.com:

buy-now-amazon-button

See my Feb. 2020 Course workshop on YouTube called “A kingdom to rule” (English captions/subtitles available).

See also my Feb. 2019 Course workshop on Youtube called “Farewell to your self, to find your true Self” (English captions/subtitles available).

Dutch visitors may also be interested in this Dutch page: ikzoekvrede.nl.

Seven ways to describe Love

Some classical music masterpieces seem to have originated straight from Heaven, and this is i.m.h.o. certainly the case with Brahms’ A German Requiem (1867). In retrospect, Brahms stated he would have retitled this work “A requiem for mankind”, which seems to fit its universal feel better. Although its lyrics seem to suggest it is a work primarily about sorrow and death, Brahms meant it to be a message of solace, a promise of the certainty of everlasting love to come after this ethereal life of pain and seeming death. Indeed, the seven movements can each be experienced as depicting a particular aspect of God; that is, the nondualistic God as described in A course in Miracles; the God Who equals everlasting Love. If Brahms had known the Course in his lifetime, he might have named the seven movements of his requiem as follows.

1 – God is Love
In the Bible, God is depicted as the almighty Creator Who has his good days and bad days. Both love and anger are clearly part of Him. He judges all our doings, and meticulously prepares His judgment on each of us, to be ‘shared’ with us the day we die. In other words, the biblical God is clearly a dualistic God, subject to opposites. A Course in Miracles, however, obviously presents a nondualistic God, Who equals only Love. Therefore, anything that is not Love is an illusion and does not exist in reality. That is why everything we experience in time and space is no more real than are our nightly dreams. When we finally accept the Atonement, that is, see the face of Christ in all our brothers, we remember God; we awaken from the dualistic dream and return Home to the Eternal Love that we are. The solace in this track, then, is that even though we seem to suffer at the hands of time, our happy return to eternal Love that is God/Heaven/Christ, is guaranteed to be our experienced reality in the end. It’s strictly up to us how long we still want to crucify ourselves.

2 – God (Love) is eternal
Clearly, nothing in this world of time and space lasts. “All things must pass”, as George Harrison recounted in 1970, in the midst of Helen’s process of the scribing of A Course in Miracles. The Course clearly states that anything that does not last forever is without any value. While the Course does not chide or scold us for our desire to cling to false gods (special relationships with people, possessions, events, you name it), Jesus does invite us to reconsider what would make us truly happy. In the end, the only plausible answer is eternity: the nondualistic state of the Love that does not change, since there is no time or space for anything to change in. Surprisingly, the Course states that we are there already here and now; that is, we can experience the reflection of Heaven by temporarily silencing the ‘raucous shrieks’ (or constant babble) of the ego. See for example workbook lesson 106: “Let me be still and listen to the truth”.

3 – God (Love) is mercy
In A Course in Miracles, “mercy” is virtually synonymous with “grace” and “forgiveness”. It is a state completely free of any condemnation whatsoever. Again, a large part of the Course is about reversing the biblical notion of a vengeful Creator Who is out to punish us for our ‘cardinal sin’ of having separated from Him. One particularly helpful illustration of this is the Course’s referral to the biblical parable of the prodigal Son. Even though this son, who had left his father’s house only to find nothing of any value in the world, was deeply ashamed to return home, his father welcomed him warmly back. There was no accusation, no rejection, no need for any guilt. In other words, again: our Father is only unchanging Love. Each of us will be welcomed back with unconditional love, no matter how wretched or guilty we may unconsciously feel in time.

4 – God (Love) is Home
Deep down inside, we know that this world of time and space is not our true home. “A memory of home keeps haunting you, as if there were a place that called you to return, although you do not recognize the voice, nor what it is the voice reminds you of. Yet still you feel an alien here, from somewhere all unknown. Nothing so definite that you could say with certainty you are an exile here. Just a persistent feeling, sometimes not more than a tiny throb, at other times hardly remembered, actively dismissed, but surely to return to mind again.” (W-pI.182.1:3-6). If God had ordained our home to be a world where nothing lasts, where everything withers and dies, “God would be cruel” (T-13.in.3:1). Happily, our true Home is in nonduality outside time and space. It is solely up to us to decide when we will truly choose to see the face of Christ in all our brothers, ending all condemnation forever, paving the way for our return home to Heaven.

5 – God (Love) is consolation
No matter what pain and hurt seems to befall us, unconditional love always comforts, as it recalls the unchanging timelessness of our true Home. Love is the the state of mind where sorrow of any kind is utterly inconceivable, as there is nothing to oppose the perfect peace, happiness and joy that is the state of Heaven. As the soprano very tenderly sings in this fifth movement: “You now have sorrow; but I shall see you again, and your heart shall rejoice and your joy no one shall take from you. I have had for a little time toil and torment, and now have found great consolation. I will console you, as one is consoled by his mother.”

6 – God (Love) is life
According to the Course, anything that does not live forever cannot be called life. Therefore, in our dualistic world of time and space, true life cannot be found. Bodies are not really born and they do not really die; they are merely schizophrenic imaginations of the sleeping Son of God dreaming of exile. Anyone who has briefly experienced a light episode, wherein time and space seemed to vanish and all was bathed in pure light, knows this truth: anything in time and space will not last, and is therefore not life. Moreover, almost anyone with a near-death experience emphasizes that the state of life outside time and space is much, much more real than anything we experience here in this world.

7 – God (Love) is peace
“Knowledge is not the motivation for learning this course. Peace is.” (T-8.I.1:1). “Whatever you may think about yourself, whatever you may think about the world, your Father needs you and will call to you until you come to Him in peace at last” (S-3.IV.10:7). We come to Him thus, not by committing suicide, but by our acceptance of the Atonement through unconditional forgiveness of everyone and everything. We cannot do this on our own, since we are still too attached to self-indulgence. But our willingness to gradually change our minds to consistently follow the Inner Voice for Love (i.e., the Holy Spirit) guarantees that peace is everyone’s due. So why wait for Heaven? (W-pI.131, 188).

In my opinion, the recording of Brahms’ Requiem that most closely approximates the emotional depth as described above is by Herbert von Karajan in 1964, with Eberhard Waechter, Gundula Janowitz, the Berliner Philharmoniker and the Wiener Singverein. Just put on the headphones and let the essence of its message sink deep down inside. There’s no need to follow any lyrics. Just let the music come. You may be amazed at the depth of consolation, life and peace it offers.


See also my “Miracles or Murder: a guide to concepts of A Course in Miracles“. This guidebook, endorsed by Gary and Cindy Renard, was published in March 2016 by Outskirts Press and is available at Amazon.com:

buy-now-amazon-button

See also my Feb. 2019 Course workshop at www.youtube.com called “Farewell to your self, to find your true Self”. (English captions/subtitles available)

Dutch visitors may also be interested in this Dutch page: ikzoekvrede.nl.

Do I want to be pure spirit?

Workbook lesson 97 is called “I am spirit”, and Jesus comments on this as follows: “Today’s idea […] simply states the truth. Practice this truth today as often as you can, for it will bring your mind from conflict to the quiet fields of peace.” (W-pI.97.1:1-4). That should be ample motivation to stick with the inner peace once I experience this. And so I mutter: “Yes, yes, I’m not a body, I am free, for I am still as God created me [i.e., as spirit]”. But apparently I don’t want to be pure spirit as yet. Why not? Because I forget about the lesson for hours on end and I still get upset over this and that! All Course students have experienced this frustration. So what to do to convince myself I really want to be pure spirit?

Most students are familiar with the somewhat disheartening opening of workbook lesson 185, entitled: “I want the peace of God”, wherein Jesus reminds us: “To say these words is nothing. But to mean these words is everything” (W-pI.185.1:1-2). The trouble is, yes, I do want the peace of God, but I want it on my own terms. I want God to be my sugar-daddy who will fix my perceived problems here, in my own personal little world. In other words, I still stubbornly “prefer to be right, rather than happy”  (T-29.VII.1:9). This is because of my fear that if would truly accept that I am pure spirit, my personal self would be finished, and therefore I would cease to exist!

So if I were really honest with myself, I would admit that, no, I don’t want to be pure spirit yet, because this is much too frightening to my perceived identity as a unique separated individual. For many Course students, a most unfortunate consequence of such a conclusion is that it seems to induce loads of guilt over being such a poor, wretched, worthless spiritual pupil. “Sigh. This Course is the clearest guide to inner peace that one might think of, and yet I don’t follow through because I am too weak and fearful to find the motivation to practice what it says.” Obviously, such a conclusion is merely a clever ego tactic to keep itself alive and well: clearly separated from God, with no inner strength to ever switch on the inner light which would make the ego disappear.

As long as I succumb to the deceptive temptation of wrong-minded thinking, all my efforts to learn this Course seem futile indeed. Happily, the real power of A Course in Miracles lies in its gentle guidance to gradually make the shift from wrong-minded to right-minded thinking. And this is a slow process. One particularly helpful passage comes in chapter 15: “[This Course…] does not require that you have no thoughts that are not pure. But it does require that you have none that you would keep.… In your practice, then, try only to be vigilant against deception, and seek not to protect the thoughts you would keep to yourself. Let the Holy Spirit’s purity shine them away, and bring all your awareness to the readiness for purity He offers you” (T-15.IV.9:1-2,8-9).

So my real practice is merely to become aware of my negative thoughts slightly sooner than before, and then not judge myself for being “bad”, but merely realize above the battleground (T-23.IV) that this negativity clearly serves the purpose of wanting to keep the seeming separation intact because I’m still too fearful of the notion of being pure spirit. Then I will not feel guilty about being spiritually inadequate. Sure, I may not be fully enlightened as yet, but at least I’m on the right track in reconditioning my mind from wrong-minded thinking to right-minded thinking. Each time I can gently smile about my own silliness and ask myself what Love would do instead, and then follow the Holy Spirit’s loving impulse, I am choosing a miracle, and the experience of inner peace will inevitably follow.

Very early in the text, Jesus states that “[A] miracle substitutes for learning that might have taken thousands of years. […] The miracle shortens time by collapsing it, thus eliminating certain intervals within it” (T-1.II.6:5,8). This lofty metaphysical idea about cleaning up karma and ending the cycle of reincarnation, however, should be applied to the smallest things in our everyday lives. We still believe that, for example, when we offer a simple, genuine smile to a stranger on the street, this may not be a significant contribution to our own salvation. But Jesus gently reminds us that we have no clue whatsoever about our greatest advances and failures: “You cannot distinguish between advance and retreat. Some of your greatest advances you have judged as failures, and some of your deepest retreats you have evaluated as success” (T-18.V.1:5-6).

In chapter 31 of the text, Jesus further addresses this importance about our ‘little’ encounters in which we can affirm the mutual truth about ourselves as being pure spirit: “The holy ones whom God has given you to save are but everyone you meet or look upon, not knowing who they are; all those you saw an instant and forgot, and those you knew a long while since, and those you will yet meet […]” (T-31.VII.10:5). According to A Course in Miracles, the temple of the Holy Spirit is not the body (as St. Paul taught us in the Bible); it is a relationship. And this is with anyone and/or anything I perceive outside of me. The truth about myself that “I am spirit” will dawn on me when I practice in relinquishing my judgment of all that I perceive outside of me, even in seemingly insignificant encounters.

In practicing this, I will yet learn that where in my wrong mind I believe I am losing a bit of my unique special autonomy, my right mind brings the experience of the peace I want so much. It’s all a matter of being vigilant for which teacher I choose to guide my thoughts, moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day, year by year. That’s why the Manual for teachers closes with the inspiring plea: “And now in all your doings be you blessed. God turns to you for help to save the world. Teacher of God, His thanks He offers you, And all the world stands silent in the grace You bring from Him.” (M-29.8:1-3) And the unexpected moment will come when you will be astounded to realize with perfect clarity that, yes, I do want to be spirit, joined as one Self with the whole Sonship, on its way back Home! Could there be any greater joy than that?


See also my “Miracles or Murder: a guide to concepts of A Course in Miracles“. This guidebook, endorsed by Gary and Cindy Renard, was published in March 2016 by Outskirts Press and is available at Amazon.com:

buy-now-amazon-button

See also my Feb. 2019 Course workshop at www.youtube.com called “Farewell to your self, to find your true Self”. (English captions/subtitles available)

Dutch visitors may also be interested in this Dutch page: ikzoekvrede.nl.

 

Forgive yourself for fearing Love

In chapter 19 of A Course in Miracles, Jesus addresses his readers as follows: “Where I am made welcome, there I am. I am made welcome in the state of grace, which means you have at last forgiven me.” (T-19.IV-A.16:6-17:1) This puzzles many students. Why would I have to forgive Jesus, and for what? Isn’t he the ultimate teacher whom I love above all else; the one whom I plead to be my guide so that I will eventually learn to accept the Atonement and finally choose to be right-minded all the time?

One might well ask the same question about why the biblical figure we call Jesus was murdered by crucifixion some two thousand years ago. After all, wasn’t he the savior back then as well? The trouble is that Jesus — and he realized this very well himself back then — awoke the slumbering, repressed guilt of those he addressed. In the deep unconscious part of the iceberg we call the mind, everyone feels guilty over having separated from God, from Oneness, from Love. We all repress this guilt out of our awareness because we find it too horrible to face, fueled by the imagined fear of God’s wrathful retaliation. Yet what is repressed is by definition projected out; and so we spend our days trying to see guilt in everyone and everything around us, just so we don’t have to face it in ourselves.

Imagine, then, how these people would react to the appearance of this gentle man called Jesus, who is not only introduced as the one and only Son of God, but also attests to this divine role by performing one miracle after another. The same projection dynamic then dictates that the mind will (unconsciously) reason as follows: “Hey, there‘s the innocence that we thought we threw away at the separation, but he obviously stole it from us! We didn’t commit the sin of stealing love; he stole from us what should be rightfully ours! He‘s the culprit!” As Jesus explains in chapter 19: “I became the symbol of your sin, and so I had to die instead of you. To the ego sin means death, and so atonement is achieved through murder.” (T-19.IV-A.17:3).

This dynamic is no different in our days; in form, perhaps, but not in content. When we study and practice A Course in Miracles, and slowly learn not to skip the passages we dislike, we read Jesus bluntly stating that “This world was made as an attack on God” (W-pII.3.2:1); “It is a joke to think that time can come to circumvent eternity” (T-27.VIII.6:5), and “You want your Father, not a little mound of clay [i.e., the body], to be your home” (T-19.IV-B.4:8). Jesus is in effect telling us that everything we think we are does not really exist. My body, my personality, my values, my grievances, my age, my sex, my possessions, everything I hold dear; it’s all make believe because I’m still convinced I can exist apart from my Creator, even though deep down I suspect I am an exile here (W-pI.182.1:1-2). Well, I may be a miserable sinner, but at least I exist. Or so I believe.

This is why nobody likes Jesus and his message; back then, and now. Or, as Ken Wapnick put it in his final workshop (2013): “We want to smack him!” We want to scream at him: “Take me seriously, dammit! Don’t you know I’m in pain? Take my hurt seriously! Take my anger seriously!” Jesus, however, just keeps on smiling gently, knowing that nothing at all has happened in reality to disturb the eternal peace of God. We just don’t want to hear him reminding us of the fact that we are “the dreamer of the dream” (T-27.VII.13:1) we call the physical universe, that “you are doing this [i.e., all our pain] to yourself” (T-27.VIII.10:1), and, above all, that “my salvation comes from me [i.e., myself]” (W-pI.70). Jesus is telling us, in effect, not only that our pointing fingers at others to see guilt solely outside of us is useless, but that our very belief that we exist as an individual is a joke. And nobody likes to be told he’s a joke.

So when Jesus asks us to forgive him, he is really asking us to forgive the projected image we unconsciously made of him in our mind. Remember, Jesus is not some divine external being who watches and judges our doings; he is, rather, a symbol of the eternal Love (capital L) that knows not of condemnation, exclusion, or separation. Or, as Jesus describes himself in the text: “I am the manifestation of the Holy Spirit, and when you see me it will be because you have invited Him” (T-12.VII.6:1; M-6.1). Since the Holy Spirit is already always present in everyone’s mind, “inviting Him in” really means “accepting Him as our mind’s guide instead of the ego”. Therefore, if I fear Jesus’ message telling me that I, as separated individual, do not really exist, what I really fear is accepting my Identity as formless Love, which Jesus tells me I would re-experience once I would choose to “see the face of Christ in all my brothers and remember God” (M-6.2:1), ending my individuality.

A Course in Miracles is a lifelong curriculum in training the mind to “seek and find all of the barriers that you have built against love” (T-16.IV.6:1-2). The problem is not that I wouldn’t want to experience Jesus’ eternal love; the problem is that I demand I can experience that as an autonomous individual. I want God to notice me as an individual, which is impossible because the whole tiny mad idea of individuality is a joke. This is why we hate Jesus and his damned Course. When Jesus says in chapter 19 that “I am made welcome in the state of grace, which means you have at last forgiven me”, he means that I have at last forgiven myself for my silly belief in duality (time; space; bodies; individuality), and that I want, above all else, to experience something much, much better: bringing the mind’s focus to the real world, which heralds the end of attack, pain, and death; but also the end of my deeply cherished ‘little mound of clay’.

Forgiving Jesus means forgiving ourselves for stubbornly answering the question “Do you prefer that you be right or happy?” (T-29.VII.1:9) with the foolhardy answer: “I want to be right. I think I know better than God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit”. Once we really contemplate, as workbook lesson 91 would have us do, the question: “I am not a body. What am I?” (W-pI.91.5:2), we recall Jesus’ loving promise in chapter 1 of the text: “There is nothing about me that you cannot attain. I have nothing that does not come from God. The difference between us now is that I have nothing else. This leaves me in a state which is only potential in you.” (T-1.II.3:10-13). Indeed, “My salvation comes from me” (W-pI.70); once I forgive myself for wanting to be right at the expense of happiness; once I decide that above all else I want to see (W-pI.27), and that the Holy Spirit will guide me, at my own pace, to the state in which I attain all that Jesus was, is, and forever will be: my Self; Christ; the One Son of God. Happy practicing!


See also my “Miracles or Murder: a guide to concepts of A Course in Miracles“. This guidebook, endorsed by Gary and Cindy Renard, was published in March 2016 by Outskirts Press and is available at Amazon.com:

buy-now-amazon-button

See also my Feb. 2019 Course workshop at www.youtube.com called “Farewell to your self, to find your true Self”. (English captions/subtitles available)

Dutch visitors may also be interested in this Dutch page: ikzoekvrede.nl.