You and your bother

This famous typing error by Bill Thetford, obviously caused by ego-resistance to the transcription process by Bill and Helen between 1965 and 1972, in a sense constitutes the core of Jesus’ message in A Course in Miracles, namely: the mindshift from seeing others as a bother, to seeing them as an equal brother. When meeting anyone, we unconsciously focus on finding something that we can dislike about them, or that would put the self in a subtly superior position to others. The core aim of A Course in Miracles is to train the mind to entirely shift from seeing differences to seeing sameness. How is that possible in a world that is clearly made up of differences?

We return once more to the crucial distinction the Course makes between form and content. This distinction cannot be discussed too often, for without a good grasp of the meaning of this distinction, a consistent focus on the sameness in everyone and everything would be very, very hard to attain. The core motivation for choosing to focus on sameness, by the way, would of course be that without differences, there is no need to dislike, judge, or condemn, which cancels out the root cause for fear. In other words, lasting inner peace is attained by undoing fear, which is attained by giving up judgment, which becomes possible once we perceive the sameness in everyone and everything.

This shift in perception, though, must happen in the mind. It cannot be done purely with the bodily senses such as the eyes and the ears, since these were made to see differences instead of sameness. Let’s see how this can work in practice. If you go for a walk in the park, or perhaps for a leisurely bicycle tour, you notice all sorts of people, with a wide range of characteristics. Some of these you may find instantly appealing, while others you judge as decidedly appalling. We usually see this as a normal thought mechanism in the human psyche. In A Course in Miracles though, Jesus focuses a lot on exactly this process of shifting and ranking. In one place, he summarizes it thus: “Each day and every minute in each day and every instant that each minute holds, you but relive the single instant when the time of terror took the place of love.” (T-26.V.13:1). Every dislike about another, however small it may seem, boils down to a choice to condemn instead of to love.

The core belief that’s behind such judgment is that you and I are distinctly separate beings, with nothing that inherently binds us to each other. However, when carefully reading the metaphysics of the Course in the text, we come to realize that not only the world of time and space is an illusion, but even more to the point that everything our senses perceive is the result of the projection of separation, that is, ultimately the ontological separation from God. The sleeping Son of God dreams about a material universe in which his self is split in billions and billions of tiny fragments, in a fearful attempt to hide from the supposed wrath of God about the separation. Every separated fragment projects the guilt and fear about this separation away, so that all evil now seems to be in others, while the fragment that I identify with can now be seen as an innocent victim.

It’s a mind-boggling shift in awareness of reality, but how does that apply to our everyday lives, which the Course certainly doesn’t ask us to deny? The body that you perceive yourself in perhaps encases your personality in this lifetime, but it is hardly what you and I fundamentally are. A Course in Miracles does not take a definite stand on reincarnation, but there are ample passages that hint at the  notion that you and I have already been here in many, many bodies before, and will continue to return in bodies as long as the Lessons of Love (Text, chapter 6) have not yet been mastered (the Buddhist would say: as long as there is still bad karma to clean up). Every single body you see, including your own body, is like a brief glow in time. The sleeping Son of God will continue to seemingly separate in a new body, as long as the dreadful sin-guilt-fear thought trinity is not completely given up. That’s why Kenneth Wapnick once stated that  “merely being born here is Self-sabotage!”

See how this insight might be applied during your stroll in the park, or on your bicycle tour. Each time you meet anyone (and no meeting is a coincidence, cf. Chapter 3 in the Manual), you have the ability to activate the decision maker in your mind, who, as it were, ‘stops the time’, and ponders: “Hmm. I see the form of a body, but that body is part of the dream world we choose to experience ourselves in. If I shift from form to content, I can see (not literally, but with the mind’s eye) the Light of Christ shining in that perceived person, just as I can see that same light shining in myself. In fact, it is the same light. I may not like the looks (or the behavior) of that person, but that’s form. In essence, each body is just a frightened fragment that – bottom line – yearns to return to the Oneness of God, but is simply still too uncertain, lonely and fearful to choose this. The inner light we share, however, is unchangeable, wholly lovable, and the ultimate reality of life.”

Just consider what happens to your state of mind once you would evaluate everyone you meet in this way. Would this leave any room for some sort of condemnation? Hardly. On the contrary, such an evaluation leaves only room for love, compassion and kindness. It opens up the heart to receive and give the miracles that the Holy Spirit wants to work through you. And what is the result in your own awareness? Joy, love and peace. Now, that’s exactly the experience Jesus wants us to practice in this lifelong curriculum. I do not master A Course in Miracles by diligently reading the text, workbook and manual for teachers over and over again; I need to apply this forgiveness principle (i.e., the separation never happened, and material form merely deceives) from moment to moment in my everyday doings. I will naturally stumble a zillion times each day, but each time I become aware of such a mistake, I can choose again: from ‘bother’ to ‘brother’. This is the practice that brings lasting inner peace a bit closer each day. Who could ask for anything more?

— Jan-Willem van Aalst, Oct. 2018

Looking at the choice for littleness

Although each New Year’s eve we all formulate an impressive list of good intentions for the year to come, for most of us it takes but a few weeks — or even days — to conclude that it’s sort of tough to keep that up. We want to be loving, joyful, patient, and understanding, but soon we notice that we keep falling back into being judgmental, impatient, angry, fearful, uncertain; you name it. It’s a frustrating experience, that does not really contribute to our self-esteem, to put it mildly. Why is it so hard to keep up the things that we know will bring us more peace in our lives, while we keep slipping back into old habitual patterns that merely lead to more misery in life?

Psychology tells us that beneath the superficial notions of the qualities of our own personality, deep within us we keep hidden a veritable cauldron of negative notions about ourselves. For example, if we feel parents did not provide us with the love we feel we need — and this includes virtually all of us, since no parent was able to be there for us all the time — somewhere deep inside we secretly conclude that the fault is ours; we are evidently not worthy of being loved. In A Course in Miracles, Jesus formulates this inner conviction to the extreme: “You think you are the home of evil, darkness and sin. […] You think if what is true about you were revealed to you, you would be struck with horror so intense that you would rush to death by your own hand, living on after seeing this being impossible.” (W-pI.93.1:1,3).

The metaphysics of A Course in Miracles clearly explain to us the source of these silly inner convictions. They stem from the original ontological instant of the separation (which, holographically speaking, is still here in each instant we prefer the ego), when the Son of God appeared to decide His Father’s Love was not enough; and so he seemed to attempt to separate from Oneness Love, and be god in his own little universe. The guilt over that seeming savage sin, plus the fear of God’s punishment for being so unloving, was so frightfully intense that we had to suppress and project it, in order to remain an individual without terror constantly striking at our hearts. This is why we consciously see all evil outside of us. But psychology also tells us that what is projected merely strengthens its hold on the unconscious part of the mind. Sooner or later it will rear its ugly head in our thought stream. And this is why all new year’s resolutions sooner or later fall prey to these suppressed but very active beliefs about our own unworthiness.

While the metaphysics of A Course in Miracles unmask the frightful beliefs about ourselves that we keep so well hidden (which is one of the main reasons people throw the book at the wall), the truly liberating aspect is that the Course convincingly explains to us that “This need not be” (T-4.IV), because “all these firmly fixed beliefs are based on nothing” (W-pI.93.2:1). The Course’s metaphysics teach me that “I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me” (W-pI.201-220). The only reason we cling to these silly frightful beliefs is that a part of our mind (the ego) is still enamored by the idea of being a body — an autonomous, individual personality that can be a god in its own right in its tiny part of the universe. And although we fear physical death, it’s also a great way of raising the middle finger at God, effectively saying: “See? Perfection is a lie, and so are you. My separation from you is real.” And then we reincarnate in a feeble attempt to try it yet again. And of course we fail once again. And so on and on this karmic cycle seems to go.

Although we constantly decide to want to be a little autonomous separated individual instead of a holographic part of the one glorious — albeit seemingly sleeping — Son of God, the power of decision remains our own (W-pI.152). In the Course, Jesus teaches us that there is really only one decision to make: the choice between the ego (separation, fear) and the Holy Spirit (oneness, Love). As Jesus teaches us: “The secret of salvation is but this: that you are doing this unto yourself. […] No one can suffer loss unless it be his own decision. […] Nothing occurs but represents your wish, and nothing is omitted that you choose.” (T-27.VIII.10:1; w-pI.152.1:1;5). In other words, we are what Kenneth Wapnick calls the decision maker, with the power to choose either the ego or the Holy Spirit, from instant to instant. Hence the insistent calls of Jesus to us, such as “Heaven is the decision I must make” (W-pI.138); “I will accept Atonement for myself” (W-pI.139), and “Choose once again if you would take your place among the saviors of the world, or would remain in hell, and hold your brothers there” (T-31.VIII.1:5).

You and I are worthy of the Love of God (since we are that Love), just as all our brothers are. In fact, in the very first section of chapter 1 of the text, Jesus states: “You are a miracle, capable of creating in the likeness of your Creator. Everything else is your own nightmare.” (T-1.I.24). Even in this hallucinatory material dream world, you and I have been given talents at birth that we can employ to bring salvation of the Son of God a little nearer, if we but choose to let the Holy Spirit employ these talents as He thinks best. Deciding to become a willing vehicle for the Holy Spirit as the prime meaning of our lives, is the ‘royal road’ to have all these silly, frightful notions about sin, guilt and unworthiness be undone forever.

The problem is that if you ask anyone about what their talents are, the majority of people do not really have a clue. In the light of the potential threat to the ego’s existence of knowing and lovingly employing your talents, it’s no wonder that the ego makes up a myriad of distractions to prevent our decision maker from choosing again. As long as 99 problems confront our daily lives, we have a fair chance of staying mindless, and thus keeping the dream of dualistic autonomy alive. We will do so until the pain gets too much, and we exclaim that there must be a better way. A Course in Miracles helps us look at the ego for what it truly is; the Course helps us reach that turning point more quickly, with more clarity and conviction.

The Buddhist notion of “Dharma” can be a great aid in facilitating this process of thought reversal. In short, Dharma more or less means that true happiness in this life can be found by ‘optimally employing your own unique talents to make yourself and others happy.’ Sounds good, doesn’t it? Realize, though, that you and I need to be constantly vigilant for which teacher we choose while expressing our talents. You don’t live ‘in Dharma’ by making rational, ego-driven plans that would turn you into the ‘savior of the world’. Rather, you take a step back and let the Holy Spirit lead the way. Only this way will your days become effortless while your intuitive, miracle-inspired actions turn out best for everyone. Letting go (of thinking you know best), and letting come (the Holy Spirit’s intuitive inspiration)!

— Jan-Willem van Aalst, sept. 2018